The Worst Date Ever Or How it Took a Comedy Writer to Expose Africa’s Secret War

As seen in the New York Times

Bussmann’s Holiday – The Worst Date Ever performed at the Houses of Parliament


The ‘most evil man in the world’ Joseph Kony has got away with it for years. Starting in Hollywood and ending in an African war zone – via a very attractive peacemaker – this book exposes the appalling crime that isn’t what it seems. And makes you laugh.

This is one of the funniest books I’ve read for a long while…a tour de force of whipsmart quips’ Times

‘This book will change your life’ ***** must read at all costs Mirror

‘Very funny. Jane’s got a death wish’ Matt Stone, South Park

‘That rarest of things… a comedy that is truly funny’ Observer

‘So funny you almost feel guilty laughing’ Katie Nguyen, Reuters

‘The funniest thing we’ve ever read’ InStyle

‘I found myself convulsed with sinus-clearing snorts of astonished laughter… This potty-mouthed, sarcastic, self-deprecating female journalist with no track record on Africa and a ludicrously inappropriate CV has succeeded where scores of doughty, better-qualified males routinely come a cropper. A small African war, headache of foreign editors and reluctant publishers, has never been captured to such hilarious and heart-wrenching effect’ Michela Wrong, The Spectator

‘Bristling with black humor, Bussmann’s dispatches from the country relate a damning tale of self-serving politicians, an incompetent military and ineffective aid agencies. A book that would do a veteran war correspondent proud’
Hot Press Ireland, top non-fiction choices for 2009

‘Heat magazine meets South Park goes to Uganda… dark but also light, ribald, entirely inappropriately f*cking hilarious and absolutely gut-wrenching. Best, most sneakily subversive medium for a hectically important message I’ve seen. Must-read’
Lauren Beukes, BOOK South Africa

‘Bussmann has invented a new genre – the agony/comedy. A more accurate and more readable account of the horrors of central Africa than is probably available anywhere – and it’s very, very funny’
The Lady

‘Manic energy, demented brilliance and a total disregard for her own safety… Bussmann is not making fun of civil war in Africa, but the self-absorbed developed world that turns a blind eye to it. The book relentlessly, and to great comic effect, plays on the tension between the inanely superficial and the deeply serious’ Canada Globe & Mail

‘Bussmann is merciless – on Hollywood… on the vapid celebrity culture that feeds this blog. She’s brilliant. And hilarious. And bitterly contemptuous. Love her so much. The Worst Date Ever – a perfect end of summer read’

‘Funnier than Scoop… astonishingly resourceful to the point of recklessness… outrageously indiscreet’ Graeme Garden

‘Buy this book. Jane Bussmann is a true wolf in sheep’s clothing. Her quirky antecedents allow her to reach the vital parts that have eluded far more seasoned wolves for years’ Jon Snow

‘Imagine The Last King of Scotland written by Shazzer from Bridget Jones’s Diary, and you’d still only get halfway to appreciating Jane Bussmann’s funny, incongruous and artlessly perceptive account of ditching the day job to pursue a chisel-jawed peace negotiator into the heart of a child-corpse-strewn Ugandan war zone’ Sunday Times

‘Even in this dangerous part of Africa, she chases her stories, observes minute details and harangues key players until she gets good quote… fearsomely entertaining’ Metro

‘Marrying vociferous rage with self deprecating humor at her own ditzy foibles, this is a marvelously maverick approach to the investigation of war crimes.’ ***** Marie Claire

‘Hilarious’ **** Red

‘Angry and hilarious, this is a little classic’
Pick of the Year, Evening Standard

‘An amazing true story you could not make up’ Prima

‘Hilarious’ Heat

‘I love this book. Heart-breaking, demented and screamingly funny.’ Sally Phillips, Smack the Pony, Bridget Jones Diary

‘Genuinely confusing to rapists’ Chris Morris

‘Ballsy, deranged and hilarious. Jane Bussmann’s ludicrous quest had me laughing on every page’ Arthur Smith

‘Savagely comic… pulls no punches’ Mark Ellen, Word Magazine

‘Unlikely and hilarious’

‘Hysterical, heartbreaking true story’

The Worst Date Ever’s German edition will be published by Edition Tiamat under the title “Von Hollywood nach Uganda: Kriegsverbrechen, Filmstars und andere Abscheulichkeiten”.


Finally, after five years writing inappropriate comedy, filing dozens of articles, ranting on the radio and doing live shows from Sydney to Mombasa: a chance the UK government might help get Kony’s kidnapped kids home.

On December 14, MPs and peers from all parties (and the Bishop of Wakefield!) skipped seasonal alcohol opportunities to watch The Worst Date Ever in the Grand Committee Room, the first ever XXX-Rated live comedy show performed in the Houses of Parliament.

This came about at the invitation of Mary Creagh MP, shadow cabinet minister and future prime minister (all is not lost, British public – there’s one politician out there who isn’t a mockney psycho). The show was put on with Amnesty International.

Thanks to Mary and Amnesty, the result of the Worst Date Ever is an EARLY DAY MOTION that is currently up and running and ready for your MPs to sign. They are surprisingly likely to sign it if you ask them to. After the Houses of Parliament show, EARLY DAY MOTION 117: UGANDA AND THE LORD’S RESISTANCE ARMY got 17 signatures in three days, and MPs emailed people I knew to say they signed after someone drew their attention to what was happening out there.

What is happening out there is a child kidnapping / war profiteering outrage. Joseph Kony has kidnapped somewhere between 20,000 – 66,000 children and young people, and led some of the bloodiest massacres ever seen.  No one has stopped him: instead the ‘war’ has become a nice little earner for all parties, except the kids. Previous attempts to stop Kony were secretive, badly-planned disasters: Early Day Motion 117 calls on the British government to help local parties arrest Kony and key Lord’s Resistance Army members as Step One in ending the scam. It’s time to put the ‘war’ under public scrutiny.

If you get a chance, email your MP and ask them to sign. If you want to send them more info, try this.

The aim is simple: get the kids home.


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